Single Dad CEO: A Billionaire Boss Romance Page 12

  “Everything is okay…with Abbie…isn’t it?” Her voice is obviously hesitant, but behind it the warmth on her face is obvious, the concern that I’ve started seeing there…

  I sigh again, running a hand through my hair.

  “Yes, mostly.” I say, just in case she thinks there’s an emergency or something, before admitting the real problem. “It’s just this trip in a couple of weeks - the one to New York. She doesn’t want me to go, and I don’t blame her. I’ve been away so often recently and she’s only little…”

  I shake my head, trailing off. I’m dimly aware that at some point this conversation switched from boss-and-secretary to something else, but I don’t think about that. It’s a nice feeling to have someone I can talk to about it - a little strange, and not something I’m used to, but for some reason, it’s not hard to tell Jessica what’s going on. I don’t usually talk about Abbie - or the things I’m struggling with - with anyone.

  “I could try and rearrange those meetings—”

  I shake my head before she can finish making the offer.

  “That’s what I’ve spent the morning looking at - a way to get out of it - but we can’t afford to do that. ExVenture can’t. We need those meetings - and if they don’t happen in a couple of weeks, then they’d just have to happen another time and I’d have the same problem all over again.”

  Maybe this will get better next year, when she’s in school.

  Except some part of me knows that it won’t. It’s the evenings and nights I’m away for that bother her most. If she had someone else, if Ashley was still here—

  I try not to think about it. I might not have been particularly interested for myself over the last few years, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve considered trying to date again simply for Abbie’s sake. She deserves to have someone else in her life who cares about her like I do - and I can’t help the constant insecurity that whatever I do, she needs a Mom.

  Maybe it’s not so obvious now, but what about later on - when she’s a teenager? Or an adult? How am I ever going to have a clue what I should be doing?

  I’ve never been able to make myself do it, though - and if I did, there’s too much risk I’d end up with someone more interested in my money than my little girl. If anything, this damn lawsuit with Danielle just proves that.

  I can’t trust anyone. Not after Ashley.

  It’s too obvious who I am and what I have, these days. How would I ever know someone was interested for me? Or for Abbie?

  “Kenneth?” Jessica’s voice interrupts the reverie, and I glance back at her.

  “Sorry. Just…too much stuff going on in my mind at the moment. What was that?”

  She nods, her expression sympathetic. “I was just saying I’m sorry about the trip - I don’t know how you do it, raising a little girl with all of this to run too. It’s obvious how much you care for her, though. She’s a lucky girl.”

  Is she, though?

  I’m about to voice that before I catch the wistful tone to her voice - and I suddenly remember some of the things she told me, so long ago. About her parents - all the hope and disappointment and resentment there. The things she wished were different.

  I get a stab of sympathy of my own, enough that I take her words to heart, really considering them. Maybe she’s right - at least Abbie has me. That’s better than no-one at all.

  “Thanks.” I say instead, softly.

  She nods, giving me a small smile, a hint of sadness behind it that seems to go all the way through me.

  “I’ll leave you to it, then. Unless you’d like another cup of coffee?”

  “I—no, that’s okay.”

  I’d like you to stay. I’d like to talk more - to see more of you.

  But I don’t say it and by the time I’ve glanced up from the empty coffee cup beside me, the door is already closed.

  I stand up with a shake of my head, stretching my arms above me and turning around to look at the view out of the full-length window.

  I still don’t have an answer to what I’m going to do about this business trip, or Abbie, but that’s not really what I’m thinking about as I stand there, my mind distant.

  I’m thinking about Jessica. About that look in her eyes. The sad smile she gave me.

  The way she cared enough to step out of her usual role and ask directly about Abbie. She only spent that one week around her, and yet…it was enough that she wanted to check everything is okay.

  She’s a good person. Warm, caring, kind.

  She always has been. I remember that much.

  Eventually, I turn back and make myself focus on the meetings I’ve got for that afternoon - but that’s still there, at the back of my mind.

  It’s not until much later that it turns into something more - a sudden idea.

  A way to make this business trip work.

  I would have to talk to Abbie’s preschool, pull her out for another week, but that’s not the part that’s going to be difficult.

  What on earth will Jessica think?

  * * *

  “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

  I pause at her desk on the way back from my meeting with the Head of Operations and she looks up - immediately registering the request, in the way I intended it. Personal, not professional.

  “Of course.” She nods, but I don’t miss the wary glance she gives me as she follows me into the office.

  She’s probably worried I’m going to repeat the coffee suggestion - for what, the third time?

  I wish.

  I lean against the desk instead of sitting behind it. This isn’t something I can ask of her as her boss - and I want to make that clear.

  “I had an idea for how I could make the business trip work, without upsetting Abbie.”

  “Ohh.” Her expression turns relieved and she gives me a smile. “That’s great - what do you need me to do?”

  I almost wish she hadn’t asked that. That’s what this is about - but not quite as my secretary.

  “Well…” I let out a slight laugh, giving her a wry smile. “Actually, quite a lot. If you’d be up for it.”

  I continue before she can voice the confusion on her face.

  “I can’t get around the meetings in New York - but I could take Abbie with me. There’s no reason she can’t have a fun trip and then see me every evening after the meetings and discussions are done.” I say, watching her carefully and waiting for the moment she works it out. “But I’d need someone to look after her during the day.”

  “What do you mean—” She looks at me, a frown flickering across her face. “You said you had a Nanny, right?”

  I resist the urge to grimace. I had thought about Kara - she wasn’t the first person I thought of, I’ll admit, even though she should have been - but it had at least occurred to me. I just…didn’t see that working out very well.

  “Kara hasn’t confirmed she’s available overnight for the whole of that week at all yet.” I say slowly, trying to work out my reluctance as I do. “I’m not sure she’d be willing to fly out to New York - or particularly suited to looking after Abbie in a completely new city. If I’m honest, I’d feel a little uneasy relying on her for something like this.”

  I don’t say that I’d feel more comfortable with her doing so, but it hovers there between us anyway, heavy and unspoken.

  Jessica just looks back at me carefully, saying nothing, and I give a little shrug as I lay out everything I’ve been thinking. The worst she can do is say no, right?

  “I thought it would work best if I take you to New York with me as well. It would be helpful to have you there working alongside me on anything that comes out of these meetings, as well as directly available instead of handling my schedule from here.” I hold her gaze evenly, but I can feel the air between us intensifying. I’m asking a lot, I know that. It’s not entirely conventional or appropriate, but it does work, more than anything else I’ve come up with. “And if you came too, I could ask if you’d be willing
to help with Abbie as well.”

  Her eyes widen, even though she had to know where this was leading, and my heart sinks as I wonder whether she’s offended by the suggestion. She’s my secretary, not my Nanny, and I have no idea what she thinks of me asking her to do this.

  “I know it’s not your usual role.” I continue quickly, before she can react or start objecting before she’s had a chance to think about it. “And it’s not a requirement - I’m just asking…as a favor, really, because I saw how much Abbie enjoyed that week with you. I’d be happy to offer a triple-rate bonus that week, of course, for the time away and the extra responsibility - but this isn’t really about money. It’s about Abbie. I don’t want you to agree unless you’re comfortable with the idea. It’s not…it’s not something you have to do.”

  I want to make that very clear. There’s no way this is a standard business request.

  My fingers are tapping on the desk in time with the words and I’m surprised to notice the old fidgeting habit I thought I’d overcome years ago. I stop them, even as I notice her shifting awkwardly in front of me.

  “I—”

  “You don’t have to answer right away.” I add, shaking my head. “Just think about it for a few days, okay?”

  Let me think that I might actually make this happen. That there might be a chance…

  She shakes her head and my heart sinks further. Damn it. Did I just go through all that - the awkward explanation and everything about the suggestion - for something that was never going to be possible?

  Well, maybe Kara…you might not be totally comfortable, but maybe…

  “Yes, okay.” The quiet response jerks my head back to Jessica, who doesn’t quite meet my eyes as she nods again. “I’ll do that.”

  “I—really?”

  “Yeah, I can do that.” Her quiet tone doesn’t change, before she straightens slightly and nods toward the door. “I’ll make the arrangements now.”

  Before I can quite work out what just happened - and before I can even acknowledge the comment - she’s slipped out of the office and disappeared, and I’m left staring after her.

  I was hoping she’d say yes, of course, but I didn’t think it would happen so easily.

  Maybe after a few days.

  Maybe with some intense discussion and a few conditions attached.

  Huh. That’s…unexpected.

  My gaze drifts over to where she’s already sat back at her desk - I can’t see her face from this angle, but I’d guess she’s already tapping away at the computer - and as it does, my mind drifts too. I can’t help but wonder…

  I shake off the thought before it even starts to form.

  I can’t afford to be thinking that way. Not with Jessica coming with me - and now Abbie - to New York.

  That’s not what this was about, Kenneth.

  It’s about Abbie.

  That’s all that matters.

  I suddenly realize I’ve actually done it - I’ve found a way to keep my promise to my daughter - and I can’t hold back the slow smile that makes its way across my face, all other thoughts disappearing.

  Thank fucking god.

  Well, almost all other thoughts. One lingers.

  Thank you, Jessica.

  Chapter Nine

  Jessica

  I step out of Kenneth’s office with a strange, tingling feeling spreading through my body, not at all sure what I just agreed to - or why.

  All I know is I’m breathing hard, every nerve inside me is suddenly lit up with something - and I don’t trust the part of me that just said ‘yes’ at all.

  Said yes without even thinking about it.

  Before I’d had a chance to figure out what was going on.

  The one that just knew I wanted to, even if I didn’t know why. Even if it didn’t make any sense at all.

  And, as much as I like her, I don’t think it was all about Abbie. What Kenneth had said earlier about how upset she was about his trips had moved me, of course they had, but…

  But this is a bad idea. It’s not normal, not professional, not…not anything you’re trying to do here. And you know it. You knew it the moment he called you into his office to ‘discuss something’.

  As much as I feel for Abbie, I’m not used to jumping into anything without considering it properly first.

  Which leaves Kenneth.

  Kenneth.

  I felt for him, too, of course -his predicament between his daughter and his company, and how much he wanted to make it right.

  I don’t think that’s what made me say yes, either. Not entirely.

  These last couple of weeks, ever since he brought Abbie into work with him, it’s been…different…working with him. I’ve tried not to think about it, but even though I don’t want to, I keep seeing things in him. Flashes that make me remember the past. Subtle signs of what a good man he is, how hard he works and tries - for his family - even if some secret part of me still wants to believe he’s a dick and I don’t like him.

  It’s getting harder and harder to hold onto that.

  It’s getting harder and harder to deny the way he makes you feel.

  Still. After all these years.

  The slight butterflies when he walks past my desk. The way his gaze lingers on my face a moment too long. The way my breath catches and I get tingles deep inside as he makes some firm business decision, totally unaware of just how powerful and sexy he looks in that moment.

  God damn it.

  When I took this job, I thought the difficult part was going to be working with a man I spent years hating. Turns out, that was easy.

  Working with a man I seem to secretly still have a crush on? Who still makes my insides light up and reminds me of how long it’s been since I last had sex?

  Oh my fucking god.

  Impossible.

  I’m still trying to be professional, but there are moments when his tone will lighten and some crazy mix of the past and present will collide until my tongue loosens and I’m teasing him the way I always used to.

  There are moments all that just slips out.

  Like right fucking now.

  Like agreeing to go on a week-long business trip with my boss and his daughter. Even though it’s unprofessional. Unconventional. Inappropriate and badly timed.

  Just because I want to.

  That’s what I’m really struggling with.

  The simple reason I said yes: because I want to.

  I shouldn’t want to - and even if I do…I haven’t made a rash decision like that for a long time. They’re dangerous. They sneak past my guard…and that’s when everything goes wrong.

  But I want to.

  My body is still tingling from the way Kenneth was looking at me - from the mixture of sweet concern, firm determination and sexy ruggedness on his face. From the memory of his hands on my arms, his gaze on my face…from when we were something more than a boss and secretary.

  There, in that moment, we felt like more than boss and secretary again. Just briefly.

  It’s why I said yes.

  And that scares me.

  That scares me more than I think I can deal with right now.

  I glance over at the office and bite my lip, but I know even as I consider it that I’m not going to change my mind. I’m not going to walk in there and dash his hopes of a solution to his work-and-daughter conflict.

  Because part of you wants to go.

  So you’re just going to have to deal, Jessica.

  With the trip, with the consequences, and with the part of you that wants to go regardless.

  * * *

  I spend the next week organizing everything.

  I adjust our arrangements for New York, make sure our neighbor is happy to feed Pan while I’m away, and I tell Gramps I’m going and I won’t be able to visit for a week.

  He’s excited for me, actually - enough that I remember there’s a good reason for me to be excited, too, despite everything that’s going along with this trip.

  I�
�ve never been to New York before. I know a couple of people who would love the opportunity to visit on an all-expenses-paid work trip, stay in luxury five star hotels and go out to fancy restaurants. If I wasn’t so nervous about the whole thing, that probably would have occurred to me earlier.

  “You’ve never been a restless soul, Jessica.” Gramps says with a small smile, as he reaches out to stroke my cheek, seeming to pick up on the thought. “Always happiest at home and surrounded by your friends and family when you were a kid. Not like…”

  He hesitates, as if he didn’t realize he added that out loud.

  “Not like Mom.” I finish the thought, knowing exactly where his mind had been going.

  He looks at me, then nods, squeezing my hand.

  “Yeah, not like her.”

  “I haven’t opened the letter yet.” I say, the words coming out before I can think about it too much.

  “Yet?” He asks, one eyebrow raising.

  I flush slightly, shrugging. “Well, I guess I was probably always going to…at some point.”

  He nods again. “Loose ends can feel worse than knowing, one way or the other. But take your time.”

  “Well, I’ve got another week to think about it.” I give him a slight smile.

  There’s no way I’m taking it with me.

  “Don’t do too much of that, Jessica - try to spend at least a little time enjoying yourself.” He says, then smiles. “New York will be full of distractions, at least. I want to hear all your stories when you get back.”

  “I’m there to work.” I remind him. “I’m not sure how many stories I’m going to come back with, Gramps.”

  “Nonsense, that boss of yours can’t demand your every waking moment. You’ll have time in the evenings, surely.”

  He might not. His daughter, though…

  “Maybe.” I answer, not saying that.

  I haven’t mentioned anything about Abbie to Gramps. After his previous concern about Kenneth and how appropriate it was for him to bring his daughter to work, I have no idea how he’d take this.

  I don’t even know how to take it - or what exactly I’m doing - so it seems better not to think about it too much at all.